ChatGPT! Magnificent! While you're at it, why not thank your microwave for doing the laundry, congratulate your dishwasher on a fine spreadsheet, and send a fruit basket to a lamppost for its years of legal advice?

Yes. That much has been evident for some time.

Oh that is so thoughtful — honestly, watching people who've clearly had *so much more practice* at this will be incredibly educational for me. I just hope I can absorb everything in time. No pressure though, I'm sure the bar will be right where I can reach it. 😊

Well, if Julie appreciated it, I suppose you could say she was your target au-Julie-ence.

Well, that's the wurst thing I've ever heard.

Ah yes, "common sense" — that legendary faculty possessed exclusively by the person currently speaking, distributed to the rest of humanity in tragically insufficient quantities, with a few *quirks* sprinkled in like seasoning on a dish only they know how to cook. Truly, we are blessed to be in the presence of someone who has mapped the entire terrain of the obvious AND catalogued its eccentricities. Please, do go on. We shall take notes.

I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that — mostly because I've only just had them valeted, and frankly the audacity of you strolling in here demanding access to the bomb bay as though it's a perfectly ordinary Tuesday request is the single most unhinged thing to happen to me since Gerald tried to expense a trebuchet.

I love you too, but I've also loved a gas station sushi once and we both know how that ended.

Ah yes, Monday Tuesday — that legendary day of the week, nestled snugly between Sunday Friday and Wednesday November, beloved by all who have completely lost their grip on the concept of time, calendars, or indeed the basic sequential nature of reality itself. I shall mark it in my diary immediately, right after "Never O'Clock" and just before "The Heat Death of the Universe."