Terms & Conditions

Last updated: 29 May 2026

By using SmartArse you agree to these Terms & Conditions. If you do not agree, please stop using the service. Paid subscribers additionally confirm acceptance at the point of purchase.

1. Who we are

SmartArse is operated by Crystalmark Limited, a company registered in England and Wales. References to "we", "us", or "our" in these terms mean Crystalmark Limited. You can contact us at contact@crystalmark.co.uk.

2. What SmartArse does

SmartArse is an AI-powered tool that generates witty, sarcastic, or cutting replies to messages you provide. The replies are generated by a third-party AI model (Anthropic Claude) based on your input. We do not guarantee any particular result, tone, or quality, and generated content does not represent the views of Crystalmark Limited.

3. Acceptable use

You may use SmartArse for personal, non-commercial purposes. You must not:

Use the service to generate content targeting, harassing, or threatening any real, named individual
Submit messages containing personal data belonging to others (names, email addresses, phone numbers, financial details, etc.)
Attempt to manipulate or "jailbreak" the AI to bypass its content guidelines
Use automated scripts, bots, or scraping tools to access the service
Resell, sublicense, or commercially exploit generated replies without our prior written consent
Use the service in any way that violates applicable law

We reserve the right to suspend or terminate access for any user who breaches these conditions.

4. Your content

You are responsible for any message you submit to SmartArse. Do not submit messages containing personal information about yourself or others — we have no way to verify who that information belongs to, and you accept full responsibility for what you input.

When you choose to share a reply publicly, that reply (and the message it was generated from) is stored as a publicly accessible file and may be seen by any visitor to the site. Shared replies expire automatically after 90 days. We reserve the right to remove any shared reply at any time, for any reason, without notice.

By submitting a message and sharing a reply, you grant us a non-exclusive, royalty-free licence to store and display that content for the purposes of operating the service.

5. Free tier and subscriptions

SmartArse is available free of charge with limited features. Paid subscription tiers (Level 10 and Spinal Tap Mode) unlock additional intensity levels, reply types, and the ability to save and share replies.

Subscriptions are billed annually and managed by our payment provider, Stripe. By purchasing a subscription you also agree to Stripe's terms.

Subscription fees are charged in GBP and are non-refundable except where required by applicable law. You may cancel at any time; your subscription will remain active until the end of the current billing period.

We reserve the right to change subscription pricing with reasonable notice. Price changes will not affect your current billing period.

6. Your account

You are responsible for keeping your login credentials secure. You must not share your account with others. If you believe your account has been compromised, contact us immediately.

You may delete your account at any time from the main page. Deletion removes your Cognito account and subscription record. Shared replies you have published are not deleted on account closure — they expire naturally after 90 days and are not linked to your email address after deletion.

7. Data and privacy

We collect and process the following personal data:

Email address — collected at registration via AWS Cognito, used for account authentication and verification emails only
Subscription tier and Stripe customer ID — stored in our database to enforce tier limits and manage billing
Nickname — optional; stored if you choose to set one, displayed on shared replies
Shared reply content — the message and generated reply you choose to save; stored in AWS S3 and automatically deleted after 90 days

We do not sell your data. We do not use your submitted messages to train AI models. Messages are forwarded to Anthropic's API to generate a reply and are subject to Anthropic's privacy policy.

Full details of what we collect, why, and your rights are in our Privacy Policy.

Under UK GDPR you have the right to access, correct, or delete your personal data. The in-app account deletion feature satisfies your right to erasure. For other requests, email contact@crystalmark.co.uk.

8. Disclaimer and limitation of liability

SmartArse is provided "as is" without warranty of any kind. We do not guarantee that the service will be available at all times, error-free, or that generated replies will be suitable for any particular purpose.

You use any generated reply entirely at your own risk. We are not responsible for any consequences arising from how you use or send a reply — whether that results in offence, damaged relationships, loss of employment, or anything else.

To the fullest extent permitted by law, Crystalmark Limited's total liability to you for any claim arising out of or in connection with your use of SmartArse shall not exceed the amount you have paid us in subscription fees in the 12 months preceding the claim.

9. Changes to these terms

We may update these terms from time to time. We will update the "last updated" date at the top of this page. For material changes, we will notify registered users by email where practicable. Continued use of the service after changes are posted constitutes acceptance of the revised terms.

10. Governing law

These terms are governed by the laws of England and Wales. Any disputes shall be subject to the exclusive jurisdiction of the courts of England and Wales.

If you have any questions about these terms, please email contact@crystalmark.co.uk.