Because some messages deserve a truly spectacular reply.

Privacy Policy

Last updated: 12 June 2026

The short version: we collect the minimum we need to run the service — your email address for your account, your messages to generate replies, and your subscription status. No ads, no analytics trackers, no selling your data, and your messages are never used to train AI models.

1. Who we are

SmartArse (smartarse.org and the SmartArse mobile apps) is operated by Crystalmark Limited, a company registered in England and Wales. Crystalmark Limited is the data controller for the personal data described in this policy. You can contact us at contact@crystalmark.co.uk.

2. Data we collect

3. What we don't do

4. How we use your data

We use your data solely to operate SmartArse: authenticating your account, generating replies to the messages you submit, enforcing subscription tier limits, processing payments, preventing abuse, and meeting our legal obligations.

5. Who we share data with

We use a small number of service providers to run SmartArse:

Beyond these providers, we only disclose personal data where required by law.

6. Where your data is processed

Our servers are hosted on AWS in the United States, and Anthropic processes messages in the United States. Where personal data is transferred outside the UK, we rely on appropriate safeguards such as the UK Extension to the EU–US Data Privacy Framework or standard contractual clauses.

7. How long we keep data

8. Your rights

Under UK GDPR you have the right to access, correct, delete, or restrict the processing of your personal data, and the right to data portability. The in-app account deletion feature satisfies the right to erasure for your account; for any other request, email contact@crystalmark.co.uk.

If you are unhappy with how we handle your data, you have the right to complain to the UK Information Commissioner's Office (ico.org.uk).

9. Children

SmartArse generates sharp-tongued content and is not intended for children. You must be at least 18 years old to create an account.

10. Changes to this policy

We may update this policy from time to time and will update the "last updated" date at the top of this page. For material changes, we will notify registered users by email where practicable.


See also our Terms & Conditions. Questions? Email contact@crystalmark.co.uk.